Friday, January 11, 2008

Folks, for the purposes of this blog I'm Drifty Leftwright, a nom-de-mouse designed to free me from the restraints of my other phony web identities. I have no set agenda, and anything I say is open to the widest range of interpretation. Your comments are welcome. So is your hate mail, though I don't promise to feel anything.

I'm just feeling my way into blogging in general, and here at in particular, so please bear with me as I fumble with content, style and features. I would like to establish an external links sidebar pretty quickly, so you can see what I've seen, go where I've gone- in the meantime, I may occasionally employ contextual hyperlinks; once I have a home for my semi-permanent links, I expect to be able to use contextual links only when I wish to point out something that may not, in my opinion, merit repeated visits.

From time to time, my better nature may appear as an interlocutor known as Ed (for Editor) or Mgmt (for The Management), usually when my Drifty nature is a little out of control, or isn't being clear about something. Let's try that now, in the form of an introductory interview:

Ed: Drifty, what is your history? How did a clown like you decide to become a blogger?

Drifty: Ed, I'm not really a clown- in fact I don't even look like one. The face you see before you is just a mask the art department put together for me. My shoe size is proportional to my height, my clothes are relatively somber in color, my handerkerchief is of regulation length- I'm just a regular guy, though I do try to ride mass transit when I can, which can be a bit like cramming into a tiny car with a bunch of other clowns. I was asked to start this blog by our mutual employer (name withheld -Ed), probably as a way of getting me off that person's other blog, or so I suspect, which is hosted on a family-safe server belonging to another Internet giant. I wasn't really given any reasons. If there's a deeper purpose behind my blog, I haven't been informed of it yet, and I may never be. As far as I'm concerned, I'm here to have fun and piss people off.

Ed: Pissing people off- is that your thing then?

Drifty: Naw, I'm a sweetie. But if controversy arises... Heh-heh. And there's more to it than just pissing people off, you know. I'd like to piss off animals too, if I could find a way. They don't seem to surf the web, though. Or maybe they're out there, browsing, but not leaving comments- I don't know, it's difficult to gauge the animal response to my work.

Ed: What is your work, Drifty? Do you have a message?

Drifty: If I can make just one person smile in painful self-recognition, I'll feel I've done my hometown proud.

Ed: Tell us a little about where you grew up- I understand you come from a small town?

Drifty: Small? Hardly- San Pronto may be sleepy, but it's anything but little. The sign at the edge of town says there are thirty thousand permanent residents. Of course, a lot of them commute.

Ed: Residents commute to San Pronto? Do you mean seasonally?

Drifty: No. There aren't really any seasons in San Pronto- it's always either nice or nicer. I'm talking about the people who drive in for the day, maybe mow the lawn or rake the leaves, that sort of thing. Run a fruit stand on the street corner, hawk flowers on the side of the road. Y'know, enjoy life in town for a few hours, then off they go.

Ed: Off where? Do you mean they have other residences, homes in other towns?

Drifty: I wouldn't know- my interest in them ends at the town line. But it wouldn't surprise me- even in a place like San Pronto there are lots of people who can afford to have more than one home.

Ed: Are you sure we're not talking about laborers?

Drifty: Well, of course they work! We all have to work, don't we?

Ed: Then they're not really residents, are they? I mean in the traditional sense of the word.

Drifty: Try telling them that. They attend the town hall meetings and campaign for politicians. They use the banks, the libraries, the parks and the public restrooms. They're in town every day, and I know they can't be homeless, because there's an ordinance against that-

Ed: Thanks for talking with us, Drifty. We'll all be watching out for your next posting.

Drifty: Thank you, Ed. Nice to chat with you.

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